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Your emails should be making you more money.
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Let's fix that in 30 days.

If writing, sending, and “optimizing” emails feels like flossing your cat…
 

I can help.

Let Me Guess How Email Works at Your Brand Right Now

 

You send something when there's a sale. The welcome flow got set up in one afternoon two years ago and hasn't been touched since. Somewhere on a to-do list is a note that says "fix email," right below "update SKUs" and right above "figure out TikTok, maybe."

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Meanwhile, you're paying Meta real money to fill your list...

 

Where people sign up, grab one discount code, and never hear from you again.

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Maybe you tried an agency once. Slick pitch deck, big promises, fancy monthly reports full of open rates, and a revenue needle that never moved.

 

(Funny how their emails looked exactly like every other client's.)

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Or maybe the agency is you, at 11 p.m., writing a promo email and wondering if "10% off" is the only sentence you know.

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Either way, the result is the same: Your email list is the cheapest revenue channel you own, and it's being run like an afterthought.

 

Here's what I do instead:

  • Write and build emails that sell — without looking like a coupon spam blast

  • Create a strategy for your business, not a recycled template for your niche

  • Move fast, communicate clearly, deliver on time — every time

 

If that sounds better than what you've got, keep reading.

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MEET the
30-Day JUMPSTART

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This isn’t a course. It’s not coaching. It’s not “we’ll get to it in Q3.”

 

It’s me — the one and only John Kuhlman — building a strategy, writing the words, setting up the flows, and giving you a 30-day campaign plan so your emails start pulling their weight.

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Here’s what you get:

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  • One flow built or optimized so it actually drives sales

  • 30-day content calendar so you know what’s going out and why

  • 2–3 fully written, done-for-you emails so you can stop guessing what to say

  • Five smart segments so you’re not sending the same thing to everyone

 

By the end of the month, you’ll have a system in place that can scale...

 

Without you writing a single sentence...

 

Or using generic AI-generated content that continues to underwhelm.

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HOW IT WORKS:


Apply → I build → You profit.

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It's that easy.

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PRICE:
$750 flat.

 

No surprises.

 

(And no "strategy calls" where I pitch you for 45 minutes before actually helping.)

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Fair warning: I take a maximum of 3 Jumpstarts per month. When the month's full, it's full.

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The Jumpstart is also how most of my ongoing clients started. Around day 25, you'll get a plain-English roadmap for what months 2–6 could look like. 

 

Take it and run with it yourself, or hand it back to me.

 

Your call.

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WHY JOHN?

The Part Where I Brag (A Little) 

I’m John Kuhlman—email strategist + copywriter for ecommerce brands on Shopify/Klaviyo. My specialty is taking the part you hate (writing, planning, tinkering in Klaviyo) and turning it into a system that quietly prints revenue.

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What I’m good at (and you probably don’t want to do):

  • Turning “we should send something” into a real plan that sells

  • Writing emails that sound human and move product

  • Fixing one high-leverage flow so it actually earns its keep

  • Segmenting so you’re not shouting the same message at everyone

 

What I don’t do:

  • Agency bloat, mystery retainers, or 47-slide decks

  • Pass my work on to "my team" because there is no team. Just me.

  • “Spray and pray” weekly promos that tank deliverability

  • Corporate memo voice. If it reads like oatmeal, we’re not shipping it.

 

How I work (so you can stop babysitting email):

  • Clear scope → quick kickoff → I build → you approve → we launch

  • Light, honest check-ins. No jargon. No disappearing acts.

  • Results framed in plain English: engagement up, revenue per send up, complaints down

 

Why clients keep me around:

  • Their calendar gets handled, their flows make money, and they don’t have to do anything but approve the work

  • I’m fast, sane, and allergic to drama

  • Discreet by design (I ghostwrite—your brand gets the spotlight, not me)

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If you want email off your plate and profit back on it, you’re in the right place.​

BRANDS I'VE WORKED WITH

Shameless Bragging, Disguised as Proof

Your list is already paying for this.

It just doesn't know it yet.

 

30 days. $750 flat. One application away.

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